Never Leave My Side
by vickyblueeyez
Summary: [For Star Trek Into Darkness. Do not read unless you've seen the movie.] Kirk/McCoy - He had lost it all and got it back. He'll be damned if he was going to let this second chance slip away.


_**Title:**__ Never Leave My Side  
__**Fandom:**__ Star Trek Into Darkness  
__**Pairing:**__ Kirk/McCoy  
__**Rating:**__ M or NC17  
__**Words:**__ 1728  
__**Warning:**__ Rated for explicit sexual content and language.  
__**Spoilers:**__ For the new movie. Do not read if you have not seen Star Trek Into Darkness.  
__**Additional Warnings:**__Mention of character death__  
__**Disclaimer:**__ I do now own Star Trek or its characters.  
__**A/N:**__ I really enjoyed this movie. I highly recommend it and seeing it multiple times._

_**Summary:**__ He had lost it all and got it back. He'll be damned if he was going to let this second chance slip away._

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He could remember the moment when his own heart stopped beating. Leonard McCoy could pinpoint the moment when his life ceased to be, when everything went black. When everything went Into Darkness. Working in the medical field, you learn early on to not form attachments when it comes to patients. You learn that you cannot save them all and forming such attachments is not beneficial to the job. He cares about saving lives because that's his job. It was nothing really beyond that.

Due to the battle with Khan and the USS Vengeance, there was major damage to the ship and the crew. The injured and the dead kept filtering into med bay one by one. It was part of the job. Such a battle was how he got his promotion to his current position as CMO. It was routine to survey each body, to catalogue each and every one but nothing, nothing had prepared him for this. McCoy opened the body bag on the table. He expected to see another faceless crew member, someone he didn't know. Instead, he saw his long time friend, best friend, Jim Kirk. That was when his world came to an end.

So many emotions flooded his mind all at once as he saw Jim's lifeless body. He felt anger. He felt sadness more than anything. He didn't remember how he got to the chair at his desk. He remembered his knees and legs feeling weak but he does remember one thing...that tribble. That glorious, magnificent tribble. It saved Jim. Actually, more like Khan saved Jim but the tribble helped.

Everything went back to normal or at least appeared to be. Jim's cells regenerated just fine. The ship was undergoing repairs and about to embark in its first five year mission into deep space. McCoy was happy to have Jim back but the whole ordeal left its mark. Every time McCoy laid down and closed his eyes, he could see Jim's lifeless body. The image haunted his dreams, haunted his waking thoughts. He thought that he had mentally prepared himself for such a thing. Being how Jim was well, Jim, McCoy knew the day would come. He thought he would be ready. He wasn't ready, not by a long shot. He realized, he could never be ready.

If Jim was annoyed by McCoy's sudden clinginess, he didn't let on. Not like McCoy would have cared. He had lost his best friend. While the ship was going through repairs, the downtime on Earth give McCoy plenty of opportunity to think. Jim could be gone in a flash, McCoy realized. He didn't get to say goodbye. He didn't get to tell Jim how he felt. Now that Jim was alive, he saw that as a second chance. He'll be damned if he was going to let it slip away. If it cost him his friendship, it cost him his friendship but at least it was said.

"Bones? Why are you shaking so much? I thought you were just shaking the ice in your drink but you're visibly shaking. What's wrong?" Jim asked on the couch next to Bones as they sat in his room enjoying a drink.

Bones sat the untouched drink on the table in front of them. He held his hands in attempt to stop them from shaking but that didn't help. "I...I have something I want to say." Bones managed. When he saw that Jim was about to speak, McCoy cut him off. "And hear me out dammit because this is important. Don't cut me off."

Jim nodded and placed an encouraging hand upon his friend's shoulder. McCoy took in a deep breath.

"You have no idea what losing you did to me. The memory of you lying there. I can't close my eyes and not see you like that. I..." The shakes were becoming worse now. McCoy couldn't control himself and started to cry. He felt Jim wrap his arms around him and he leaned his head against his chest.

"Shhhh, I'm here. I'm here now." Jim whispered and rocked McCoy. That didn't stop the tears from flowing.

"I thought that I was strong but I'm not. I never, ever want to see you come into my med bay like that again. I won't be able to take it. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I didn't even get to tell you that I love you. You were just...gone." McCoy said through chokes and tears.

Jim clutched him tighter and McCoy felt a light kiss upon his head. "I'm sorry Bones. I'm so sorry."

McCoy moved away from Jim to sit up straight. He wiped his eyes with his hands and then his nose against his arm. He was looking down now, unable to make eye contact with his best friend for years due to what he was about to say.

"I know you're not supposed to fall in love with your best friend but I did. I fell in love with mine. I don't want to lose your friendship but at the same time, I didn't want you dying without knowing how I feel." McCoy paused. There was silence in the air. He knew Jim was waiting for him to continue. McCoy took another deep breath. "I love you Jim. Always have. Always will."

McCoy started to shake again. He felt Jim move closer to him on the couch so that they were touching one another. He saw Jim's hand close on top of his. "Look at me." Jim whispered.

McCoy looked back at him, his eyes red and irritated from crying. Jim's eyes were so blue, so beautiful, so alive. They stared back at him wide and unmoving. "Jim?" McCoy whispered, unsure of what to say.

"I love you too." Jim answered. McCoy could feel his hands being squeezed. "I want to give you something new to remember me by. Something new to see and think about when you close your eyes." Jim continued.

"What?" McCoy asked, completely confused as to Jim's meaning.

"This." Jim stated and bringing up his hands to McCoy's cheeks, he leaned in and pressed his lips to his.

It took McCoy a moment to come out of shock but when he did, he did with guns blazing. McCoy pulled him close and deepened the kiss. The kiss was full of passion, desperation and need. He didn't care if it was sloppy. He wanted, no needed to feel Jim, to take him in as much as he can. He wanted to know that this was real, that Jim was alive and that this wasn't some figment of his imagination.

Jim's lips were red and swollen when they broke the heated kiss for air. Jim stood and took his friend by the hand. "Lay down." Jim said after they stopped next to the bed.

McCoy did as he was told but he didn't know what to think. He had just told his best friend that he loved him and his best friend said he loved him back. He was kissed by said best friend and McCoy couldn't think about anything beyond that. He didn't remember how he got naked but none of that mattered now. Jim was naked and on top of him. McCoy held him close, trying to absorb all the heat from his body, the very heat that showed he was alive. Jim kissed him again and this time it was slow, deep and sensual. Jim's hand trailed down McCoy's chest until it reached McCoy's semi-hard cock and took hold.

"Look at me." Jim whispered and McCoy opened his eyes. "Put your hands on me. Watch me. Touch me. Don't take your eyes off of me."

McCoy reached down and took a hold of Jim's hard cock. Jim moaned at the touch and started to squeeze and stroke McCoy's cock. McCoy was completely riveted by Jim's face. McCoy squeezed harder and stroked with more speed, greedy to see Jim's expressions. Jim's parted lips, heavy breathing and his pupils blown wide were mesmerizing. McCoy loved hearing every moan he got from Jim.

"I'm so close. I want you to watch me. Watch what you do to me." Jim said breathlessly. "Don't stop! Don't stop! Don't you dare stop you hear me!" Jim's strokes of McCoy's cock was becoming erratic as his own orgasm drew near. He found his eyes fluttering close from the pleasure of it all.

"Open your eyes!" McCoy commanded. Jim's blue eyes flew open and he starred intensely at McCoy.

"I love you Bones. I love...I love...ah...ah! Bones!" Words failed Jim as he came hard on top of Bones.

That look, that look was so hard for McCoy to describe. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. The grip on McCoy's cock went from slack to hard again. McCoy was already close when Jim came so it didn't take much to get him back to that point.

"Watch me. Watch me, Bones." Jim said as he moved down McCoy's body. McCoy propped himself up on his elbows and watched as Jim took the head of his cock into his mouth.

"Fuck." McCoy moaned and closed his eyes, dipping his head back briefly before returning and watching Jim. The feel of Jim sucking and stroking his cock, the feel of Jim swirling and pressing his tongue around his head and watching him do it was all too much.

"I'm going to cum!" McCoy moaned out. Jim didn't falter in his movements but hummed around McCoy's cock in reply.

"Jim! Jim!" McCoy moaned in praise while he came, emptying into Jim's hot mouth. Jim milked him dry, sucking and making sure he got every last drop.

McCoy fell back onto the bed and covered his eyes with his hands to rub them. He lowered them to his sides and turned his head to see Jim laying down next to him.

"Everything is going to be okay Bones." Jim assured with a smile. Bones smiled back and lifted an arm.

"Come here you idiot."

Jim scooted over and pressed his body against Bones's side. Jim rested his head upon his chest and listened and Bones's breathing started to deepen. Bones wrapped his arm around Jim and held him close.

Bones doesn't remember falling asleep but he does know, it was the best sleep he had had in a long while.

**END**

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**A/N 2:** Please fave (ff . net) or leave kudos (Ao3) if you enjoyed. Thank You


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